here i go again with this weakness

July 20th, 2007

damn it!

why is this place cursed..

or is it me who is cursed..?

i don’t know why i still dwell in the past..when the present is almost perfect..

this afternoon, i saw him (a c e).. the guy who got me crazy 7 years ago..and nothing’s changed..

i was also trying to find the face that brought me here now..the voice who convinced me to visit this place again..and..the one who never failed to fail me.. :’ (

damn it!

why do i have to feel this way when i see people of those kind..

those who possess the eyes which have been making me head over heels ..

damn it!

why don’t i just smply get over it?!

Only Reminds Of You

June 24th, 2007

I see you, beside me
It’s only a dream
A Vision of what used to be


The laughter, the sorrow
Pictures in time
Fading to memories

pre-chorus:

How could I ever let you go?
Is it too late to let you know?

Chorus:

I try to run from your side
But each place I hide
only reminds me of you
When i turn out all the lights
Even the night
only reminds me of you

Verse 2:
I needed my freedom
That’s what I thought
But I was a fool to believe
My heart lied when you cried
Rivers of tears
But I was too blind to see

pre-chorus:
Everything we’ve been through before
Now it means so much more

Chorus

Only you…
Bridge

So come back to me
I’m down on my knees
Girl can’t you see…
How could I ever let you go
Is it too late to late to let you know

Chorus
   
..only reminds me of you..

the contract..

June 13th, 2007

i just recently signed a 3-month probationary contract at bigfoot.. i guess it was june 5.. am not sure..

how has it been?

damn its oh so stressful!

i dont know until when i can take this..

haaayyyy….

a lifestyle of sleepless nights..

May 16th, 2007

im starting my training for bigfoot..

and man! it’s a totally different life…

my work starts at 12.30 am and ends 10.30 am…

whhoooo!

nosebleed…

haaaayyyy…

makasunggo jud oi… cge english2x sa mga client nga ipal..

hahahha!

im hoping maanad ra nya ko ani nga lifestyle..

ang lifestyle sa ga ungo..

heheh

blessed…i am…

May 9th, 2007

yes.. i feel blessed..

things have been turning out well..

canlom has always been there for me, until now..

i have 2 jobs in line:

an english tutorial

and im going to start my training for big foot call center tonight..

blessed..

am i?

yes i am!

who cares about the other stuff trying to put me down?

thanx Papa Lord!

how dare you ignore me like that?!

May 1st, 2007

now i dont care if you read this.. i just really have to say it or else ill explode..

i was walking blankly.. trying to look for him..

i was walking past the crowd so busy

looking for the face

and just when i felt so dizzy

i saw that face

i stopped and stared at you

there was not a move that i made

though i know you saw me too

it seemed you never saw me at all!

now what kind of act was that?

arrggghhh!

i spent my first two days listening to that bullshit heartache of yours..

on the day i needed someone to talk to, you ignored me! damn it !

damn you!

bullshit! im back to suicide!

April 27th, 2007

im back in my hometown..

back with friends..

back to the hangouts..

back to suicide..

y?

a

y

e

l

my bestfriend…

my bestfriend who i love..

yah..

it was so nice seeing him again..

those cute eyes..

hahahayz..

but damn!

im back to the pain again..

on my first two days here, we talked in the park..

im glad i saw him again..

yet, its so painful to find out that he still loves her..

they broke up..

and i can see the pain in him..

yes..

we are talking..

but i know hes thinking of her..

im beside him..

but his heart’s so far away..

he’s so near yet so far..

he said "sorry" for the things he’s done to me before..

he finally felt how painful love could be..

he finally realized that love isnt just a foolish game..

he finally believed in karma..

i didnt mean to curse him before, when he hurt me..

yet, my curse happened..

karma came to haunt him..

lesson learned ayel?

he’s still him..

the same ayel i loved…

the same ayel i still love..

but he’s not mine anymore..

he was never mine anyway..

all i gotta do is be the best friend to him..

to listen to him..

to comfort him during this sad moment of his life..

im comforting him..

but who’s gonna comfort me?

this is what i call..

S U I C I D E

the boracay hangover…

April 14th, 2007

i just got here in cebu last friday from a mission trip to the attis in cogon, malay, caticlan.. with a side dish of a boracay escapade..

boracay..

perhaps the most beautiful beach in the world..

the place i never thought i cud reach..

now, i still think that was just a dream.. heheh

boracay had the best sunset evr!

i cudnt use the right words to paint its picture..but surely, the picture is vividly painted in my mind..

a memory that would last forever..

excited for tommorow…

April 1st, 2007

boracay…here we come!

one more night and to boracay we’ll fly…

we’re going on a mission trip to the Atti tribe in Malay…

God has been so faithful in providing us what we need…

and because of that, I feel a bit guilty because I havent done the best for HIM…i’m afraid I’ll disappoint my BOSS…

anyway, I’ll try my best to do HIS work there in Boracay..

may God bless each one in the team…

for the Lord!

for the win!

conquering that stage fright…

March 25th, 2007

imagine this…

i am a writer…

not a speaker…

yes, i am good in words…

but no…not in front of so many people…

speaking in front of about 300 people?!

and filipinos, americans, british, germans, and many others are the audience?!!

it freaked me out…!

are you kidding?!

i dont even stand in front of tha class for recitation and i’m tasked to speak in such a large crowd!

a testimonial…

of faith…

to touch the heart of church goers so they may help us in our mission trip to the tribe of aklan…

i said to myself, "i dont think i can do that…me?! i will just mess up on that stage! no one will be touched!"…

even 5 mins before i’d go to the stage, i was shaking..as in literally shaking..

my knees…

my teeth made a funny sound as my mouth also shivered…

but…

i tell you…

the moment i went up that stage, i felt so confident…

i know God was working within me..

after the service, Pastor Glen hugged me and whispered,

"that was such a powerful testimony!"

wooowww!

and there’s more..

we counted the donations…

and guess how much we had…

17 thousand pesos!

such a powerful testimony really…

i didnt know could do that!

well actually i really didnt do that…

God did…

for THE LORD!

for the win!

amen