hangtod kanus-a man ko masakitan?

just when i thought i had one of the greatest times of my life..

with you and your family..

shiT!

she came into the scene..

how awful could it be??

very very awful..

well.. i’ll try to deliver the good part of the story..

feb 1, 4 pm..

gisugat tamo sa pier with your nanay and tatay.. i was about 30 mins late.. anyways, sori for that..

moving forward..

nangadto tag robinson’s.. suroy2x gamay.. then waited for anne to get our from work..

nangadto ta sa new bhaws ni anne..

(adlib: ngano mubalhin diay xa? gibayran na unta nao iya 2mths advance..pero that’s ok.. i respect her decision)

then nangadto tas ako bhaws.. where you met my boyfriend.. medyo awkard ang scene.. pero i guess were able to hadle it..

then nangadto ta ayala.. naghuwat sa imo cuzn..

nag lakw2x pa ani ta bitbit sa mga bags para ibilin sa courtesy booth pero close na diay.. hahaha!

(adlib: imo mama kay hadlok diay ug escalator noh? heheh)

then nisakay napud tag jeep padulong talamban..

then the last ride for that night was a habal2x ride..

mabaw kaau na reason for me to be happy– why? i’d rather keep it to myself..

finally, we arrived at ate ibek’s house..

then ate dinner..

lami to ang humba bah..heheh

aysa murag gikapoy na kog type dah!

hmmm..

basta aftr dinner, nag storya ta sa gawas..

i asked you: have you ever promised someone someting? kanang imo jud gi hold-on to?

u said.. you might have promised me something..

of course you did..

a lot..

but one promise that i held on to is — "you’ll be special for me forever" …will that ever be fulfilled? you dont even remember saying it..

hahay..

while you were talking to me that night, i kept wishing it would be forever..

and i kept asking myself– "why you’re so special despite all the hurt i’ve been through with you? why am i still trying to be near you when i know it always boil down to me being hurt? and why should i be hurt?"

argggghh!

i could hardly sleep that night..

the next morning..

feb 2..

one of the happiest mornings of my life..

it felt like home..

feelings aside, your family is so nice..

i wished i had  faily like that.. and i cant even find  a reason why i did..

it just felt so pleasant to be withn their proximity..

before lunch, i took a nap..

and damn!

i had a dream..

we were in an island with all the people aroung us.. your family, my family, your girlfriend, my boyfriend..

but they all left the island..

we were left alone..

i slept on your shoulder..

a few moments after that, i died in your arms..

kkoorrnny..

argggghhh!

pag mata nako, naka ilis na ka.. then taud2x nanlakaw ta..

gi bilin tikag ayala kay naligo ko.. then nangadto tag sto niño.. we were listening to the novena while waiting for the mass to start.. but then, you changed your mind..

we went out of the church para managkot..

after that, i started observing you acting so wierd..

abi pa naman nako ug manlaag pa ta..

then it came out that SHE arrived..

fuck!

kasakit!

huhuhuh!

ang2x naman ug pug ngan tika, diba?!

so sige.. utong ko kadali while waiting nga muadto na ka niya..

then, i stopped walking and bid goodbye..

my gosh!

i felt how transparent i was even tough i tried to hide it..

that’s the worst and most painful  "OK LANG" i’ve ever uttered..

you even tried to reach out your hand..

bullshit!

that grip will never be mine..

and DAMN HER!

DAMN HER COME HERE..

why didn’t she just leave me alone.. to spend time with you..??

bullshit!

nagpalayo na gani ko sa ormoc to keep beng hurt, ngano nianhi paman jud xa?!?!

why can’t she wait for you to come back to ormoc..?!?!

arggghghg!

why does she keep messing around with my happiness?!?

grace.. someday.. i’ll deal with you..

ayel.. hope you’re happy despite what happened yesterday..

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