surrender…

november 28, 2006

finally….ive surrendered

to my Majesty…

God..

im His…

forever

why?

I've known you for so long
You are a friend of mine
But babe, is this all we'd ever be
I've loved you eversince
You were a friend of mine
But babe, is this all we ever could be

chorus:
You tell me things I've never known
I showed my love you've never shown
but then again when you cry
im always at your side
you tell me bout the love you've had
i listen very eagerly
but deep inside you'll never see
This feeling of emptiness
It makes me feel sad
But then again, I'm glad

I've known you all my life
You are a friend of mine
I know this is how it's gonna be
I've loved you then and I love you still
You're a friend of mine
I know that friends are all we ever could be

but then again,
but then again
but then again
im glad

the memories of the sea…

yesterday, my family and i went swimming sa beach…

i enjoyed the day,actually…

but for one moment…one single moment…memories came rushing into my head…i couldnt help but reminisce them again…

the sea…

which witnessed such wonderful dreams…

which heard so many promises…

which saw so many smiles…

the sea…

where life revolved…

where my laughter echoed…

where my tears fell…

friendship…

love…

hate…

and more love…

the sea…

him…

you know him?

that guy…

that guy who broke my heart yet still remained special all this time…

i waited for him…yet, he didnt come…

well..i guess there’s a reason for that…

i cant blame anyone…

not even myself…

arggghhhh!

shut up!!!!

enough!

brain drained…

how hard can it be?

im only assigned to one article yet i feel like my brain is already empty…

why?

this is journalism… and its gonna get harder and harder for sure…

actually, last monday, i already thought of quiting tug-ani, to give priority to my studies…wen i arrived at the meeting, people were talking about the paper’s struggle to come up with an issue…

how can i possibly leave them behind?!

grrrhh!

is this what passion is about?

waaah!!! that movie…

just finished watching My Sassy girl sa youtube…i took note of some lines..

when i first met her, i wanted to cure her grief
but now i cant give her up.
i wish we can get serious.
im writing about these feelings.
shes probably writing about me now.

this is how we’re preparing to split up.

//*girl’s shout*//

gyeon woo! can you hear me?

gyeon woo! im sorry! i really cant help it!
im sorry..im sorry i cant help it!
i thought i was different but im just a helpless girl.
gyeon woo! im sorry!

i made her dream come true instead. i wanted to tell her right away. but i can only wait until that day…

she didnt come. it’s our only day to meet. no one knows when she will come.

//*the letter*//

gyeon woo, how are you? i wa so happy while being with you. im not sure if you knew. but the person i loved passed away. the day when i first met you was the day he died a year ago.
actually, i tried to look for him in you.
i know it was wrong. im sorry.
i also met him on the subway like you.
i was reaal y sick at that time.
he did everything i wanted like you did to me.
under this tree, we planned our future together.
but he suddenly passed away.
while i was dating you, i met his mother often.
she wanted to introduce a nice man to me. but i couldnt.

the day i first met you, i came under this tree.
and i prayed to him to let me free.
when i met you, this occured to me.
that maybe, he introduced you to me.
but the more i met you, he seemed to grow jealoused of you in me.
the more i liked you, i felt guilty inside.
while the two of us are apart,i want to forgrt him alone
if im not with you after two years, it means i still lack of courage.
how much will we change after two years?

i feel like you live in the future. and i stay in the past.

i want to meet you soon so i can read your letter.

//*gyeon woo*//

after that day, i went often to this place

//*old man*//

know what fate is?
its building a bridge of chance for someone you love

realizing my mistakes…

recently, i lived my life the way i wanted it to be…

i knw i hurt some people with my sharp words…

and mostly, i hurt God by being a bad girl…

last saturday, a youth event in IF was held… i almost didnt make it to ayala because of various evnts…"mga kakulian nga di mapugngan…"

fortunately, i made it there!

i was totally blessed…

i burst into tears when i realized how sinful i have become…

my heart was broken…

whole-heartedly, i asked for forgiveness to God…

and right there and then, i felt his love…his amazing grace which put the broken pieces of my heart back together…

"how many times

have i broken your heart

but still you forgive

if only i ask…"

it’s so great to be with Him again…

i got lost and now im back…

i pray that God will forever be with me…

i pray that i will be God’s servant forever…

yesterday i thought you were mine

how cud it possibly be? i thought you loved me when you said that…

but how come?!

you and she are back together…

i was so stupid!

im a dangerous bitch…

im a bitch…

im a dangerous bitch…

so dont mess with me…

i dont give a damn…

so just shut up!

im a very good friend…you can ask me to be with you through thick and thin…but once you freak this slut out, you better ask for rescue!

back to school…

classes are already starting…and im not yet enrolled..hahah! it’s bcoz of the student loan…saonz taman…di man ta ka afford mubayad ug tuition…pro ok ra…tig sulod man gihapon ko ug klase…mura ra gihapon ug enrolled…

kadtong saturday kay ni apply ko sa western wats..dahhh wa ko dawata kay british english daw ako accent…

mu apply pa ko ug part time sa jolibee or metro..bisag asa basta naa…

i want to try my best to have good grades this sem…and to earn for my stomach’s sake…

better be just friends…

"sana lyn naa pka dri ormoc, sana lyn katapad dn ka2k tka, sna lyn mah express nah n nq aq filings u n prsonal, sna lyn mor dan frnd pjd ta ky i knw redi ka moh fight mski wat mahitabo…gudnyt lyn!thanx au!"

what shud i feel?!

i dont know…

i promised myself never to let him hurt me again…

never to let anyone hurt me again…

he is a great friend but a lover?! i dont think so…